I think I was born lacking the motherhood gene, and despite what Dominican society thinks, that doesn’t make me less of a woman. I can appreciate a cute kid as much as the next person, I can be awed by a smart two year old or charmed by a smiling toddler but honestly I don’t yearn for a child and for the first time ever I feel annoyed by the pressures of society. I’m old enough and smart enough not to care what people think, I know, and it’s not that I care what they think, it’s more a case of annoyance that in the year 2010 it’s still hard for people to understand that not everyone has the same dreams.
When I was overweight and people told “oh you’d be so pretty if you’d only loss a couple of pounds” it didn’t bother me as much as when people say “you better get started soon on having those babies or you’ll never be happy” ok so they aren’t that harsh, but that is all I hear when people ask me how old I am (31 and proud of each and every one of those years) and I tell them I don’t want kids.
Please don’t get me wrong, I love kids especially between the ages of zero and seven because after that they become pre-teens and teens that are so angsty and restless I can’t stand them. I was an angsty teenager once, a bratty one from what I can recall and I really don’t have the patience or the tolerance to deal with that. But kids, with their innocence and trusting, and free smiles and hugs, those kids I love. In fact some of my favorite people in the world are under seven years old. But then they throw a tantrum in the middle of a supermarket, or scream at the top of their lungs at the movie theater, or break everything in sight and I’m so grateful that when I go home none of that will follow me.
I understand that children are, up to a point, a reflection of their parents parenting (is that the correct way to say it?) and I’m not trying to be modest or pretentious but I think I’d be a really good mom, I just don’t want to be one.
Life is all about choices, and I’ve learned that making decisions about my life based on other people’s expectation is a bad idea. I don’t want to say I’ll never have kids because I honestly don’t know what the future holds and maybe tomorrow I’ll change my mind (I am a woman after all and it’s my prerogative) but today I know that I don’t want children and that doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with me, it just means that I don’t want to be responsible of any life other than my own.
"People take different roads seeking fulfilment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost."
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No matter how many bras'get burned, society still expects that what every woman WANTS is to get married, have kids and live in a nice house with a white picket fence.
ReplyDeleteWell said!! I think that any woman that does not want to have children, shouldn't!! It's only the child that will suffer. I think you would be an amazing mother... but if it's not what you want, don't do it! So, you can be an amazing Auntie to my baby and I'll do what I can to make sure that he is is still someone you want to hang out with after the age of 7. =)
ReplyDeleteI identify 100% with this post. I am with you in my feeling I don't want to have kids. I love them, but I am glad I don't have the responsibility.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if this feeling will change, but for as long as I can remember, I have never wanted to be a mother.
That's my 2 cents...
hey! not having kids can even be considered eco-friendly :) since you're not contributing to the world's over-population. and if you change your mind and your ovaries are all shriveled up you can always adopt (also eco-friendly :P).
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