It’s been 3 years, 3 months, and 5 days since I last updated this blog. In that time, I lived in New York City for two months, worked on a Netflix movie (True Memoirs of an International Assassin), lost my mother to cancer, learned how to knit, took an intensive Professional Make Up class and visited 6 different countries. Even though my summary is only a couple lines long, I don’t know if you can tell it’s been an intense ride.
Right now, I have a steady job which helps me pay for therapy twice a month, a yarn addiction that has me knitting my first sweater and for all the scrapbooking supplies I’m obsessing about while taking an online class.
This new attempt to keep up a blog comes with no other strings than the need to write. I’ve always wanted to be a writer, when I was in elementary and high school I used to write emotional poems about all the intense emotions I felt. When I moved to college I even took an online screenplay class at the Gotham’s Writer institute. I even had one of those timelines that had me becoming the first Dominican to win an Oscar for an original screenplay. At some point, I literally lost all my writing. I’m not saying I lost my inspiration but my actual writing. I had transcribed all the stuff I had written in school then thrown away all the different notebooks I had them in only to later have that one notebook stolen from my place of work. Later when I had a computer and was taking those online classes I never did any backups and when that laptop got friend on a power surge I lost all that too.
At the time, I took all the disappearing writings as sign that my choice of career was the wrong one. I stopped writing all together and only picked back up when the blogging boom started but I’ve never could keep it up.
Yesterday in therapy, I had a breakthrough. My biggest obstacle when writing is my fear of making mistakes, it’s my fear of showing the world something I created and have the world tell me is lacking, it’s my fear that if start ill end up coloring outside the lines. I never thought lack of commitment was due to fear, but now I know better so instead of hoping to start a blog so I can make a business out of it, or to follow a themed trend, or even to have an audience……
Today I start a blog just because I want to write.